I met this beautiful boy the other day.  He’s smart, funny, drop-dead gorgeous, easy to talk to, nice, and really cute.  He didn’t do anything i didn’t want to do.  When neither of us talked it wasn’t awkward.  And when he leaned in and kissed me it never felt so good.  I’ve completely forgotten what it feels like to be loved or wanted or worth something, and for the first time in as long as I can remember I think I felt happy.  To think that someone like me could find someone so borderline perfect and exactly what I’ve been looking for is too overwhelming to describe.  He told me he wasn’t looking for a relationship, then he held me for an hour while we just talked.  I had to leave by 9:30 so he could hang with his friends, and he didn’t let me leave until 11:30, when he walked me back to campus. So why have I never felt so empty?  Can’t I, for once, enjoy what I have and not worry about how it will end?  I just want to appreciate the moment and stop being so paranoid.  But I don’t know how.  I keep thinking that I’m just his rebound, and it scares me to death to think I’ve found the person I’ve been looking for, and I’m just teasing myself.  I want to tell him what I think of him so maybe he’ll feel the way I feel, but then he might just feel like he doesn’t need me.  I’m finally on my way out of depression, and this could just as easily send me spiraling back, even worse than before.  But then I won’t know what I could have had, and the what if will kill me.  There’s too much to think about and too many things to feel, I feel like I’m literally about to burst.